The older I get, the more I realize how little I know. I find myself more anxious and afraid. Daring moves I could have made easily five years ago, like selling everything I owned to move to a new country on a student visa with just three months of runway and no grasp of the language, now feel unthinkable.
It feels like I have lost some faith in myself. My ability to move mountains is waning. I wonder, why is it so? Is it the burden of comfort, being stuck in a routine – bed → work → sleep – or maybe the safety of the lack of lack.
I am reminded of the concept of midlife crisis, but isn’t it too early because some say it’s often around 40? But again, life is a series of split tests. Each of us experiences it differently, so probably it is.
As an avid follower of F1, I understand the concept of form, so maybe that is what I am lacking. A couple of weeks ago, I remember in a press conference a downtrodden 8-time world champion saying, “Maybe I am not fast enough anymore.” Even the greats go through it too.
But now that I’m 30, I want to see this stage of life differently. As a time of renewal. A time of strength and just maybe I haven’t lost any faith, but that I need to change my perspective on how I look at the mountain.
To My Brothers
To my brothers, I know many of us are in the same boat. And we don’t talk about it. So let me say this:
You’re not alone. We see you. And we’re rooting for you, brother.